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We (parents) Judge ourselves based on Intention, While people (teens) judge us based on our Action

Dear #Parents, Is there a gap between your Intention and Action?

Recently, I was doing a seminar for Parents along with their teenager. While conducting an activity, I asked Teenagers what are their expectations from their Parents? Here is what they said

- Stop forcing to study,

- Do not taunt at us,

- Stop comparing with Friends

- Do not keep shouting in front of Friends & Siblings,

- Say things Calmly

I asked a follow up question - What makes them say all this? They quoted their Parents.

My #Parents tells us

" You are wasting life"

" You will not get admission in any college",

"You are useless",

"You will fail",

"Stop playing with your friends",

"See your friends are scoring so well and you will be left behind"

This time I turned to parents and asked them What they meant while they said all this

#Parents shared their intention behind their words

* Not to waste single minute ( you are wasting life)

* Not to use Mobile constantly (I will throw your mobile)

* You deserve a good college (You will not get admission... )

* You have the potential (You are useless)

* You losing a good opportunity (You will fail)

* Study 12 hours at least (Stop playing with your friends)

* You can do much more (See your friends are scoring so well & you will be left behind)

So, #DearParents Are the words matching the intention?

How well are you bridging your Intention and your Action (words, behavior) while communicating with your Teens?

Are you talking with respect?

Are you sharing your reasons behind what you saying?

Are you triggered or emotionally calm before speaking with them?

Are you telling vs Listening to their emotion and intent?

#dearparents Share your thoughts how you bridge your Intention and your Action.

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This is what happens in many cases Rahul. The intention words mismatch can only make the case worse.


Blazin Fernandes
Blazin Fernandes
May 11, 2022

This is so true. As parents we must be mindful of 'HOW' to put our words across, rather than 'What' we speak to our teens. And yes - Actions speak Louder than words.

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